“’Impossible” dreams do come true,” he is reminded. “Life’s battles don’t always go to the strongest or fastest, but to those who fight on.” That is the inspiration Jeff Rio did his best to instill in all his players – a legacy of encouragement that lives on.
Jeff’s life came to a tragic end much too soon. But the strength of his character, along with his love for the game and the young people who play it hasn’t dimmed in the passing of the years. And the parents who were always on the field to support the team – and their sons – are still here rooting them on.
“Carl is the heart and soul of the program,” says new head football coach, Josh McClurg, of Jeff’s dad. “He serves as a surrogate father for all of the boys.” Rio also helps coach the track and field team at Santa Ynez Valley Union High School.
The Rio’s moved to the Valley in 1975. Mom Mary Ellen, dad and three sons, Mike, Steven and Jeff all love sports. And from the very beginning, you could find the boys on the field and dad on the sidelines, coaching, helping, encouraging.
“My boys all did well at sports,” says Rio of his sons “ – perhaps not outstanding, but they were good. Steve is the most athletic of the bunch.” So while winning is always nice, it was the time spent as a family that drew them so close.
Which is why, more often than not, Mary Ellen is there too. Many a Booster Club rooster bears the Rio name on the list of its officers. The Rios did, and still do, their part wherever it is needed.
“Mary Ellen is great because she puts up with Carl,” says McClurg with a laugh. The laughter is well placed, for despite the tragedy, the Rios’ story is one dominated by enthusiasm for life and a dedication to youth – not sadness.
Jeff was a friend to everyone, says his dad, and interested in everything. The half-mile walk from the bus stop home often took the schoolboy Jeff a long, long while as he searched for bugs, picked up rocks and stopped to watch the birds with keen interest.
Jeff and is mom would haul the family cats to shows in Santa Barbara. They were just ordinary cats –no fancy breed or anything special. It was just one more thing that sparked the kid’s interest, notes his dad with a smile as he sits outside the coffee shop reminiscing.
“He just had so many interests. People really enjoyed talking with him,” says Carl, after being interrupted to receive a hug from a passerby for the fourth or fifth time in twice as many minutes.
Carl shakes his head and laughs. “Jeff was a role model from the time he was very small. He had this way of taking charge that was just very respectful – not self-appointed, but turned to by his friends who would look to him for guidance,” both on the field and off, says Carl.
From YFO’s patter of little feet scampering down the field, the Rios moved up the ranks to varsity sports. Basketball and soccer were other favorites, but it is football that is the real passion. Even now with the kids grown, come fall, Mary Ellen and Carl are on the sidelines. It’s where Jeff would have been, if things were different.
“He made quite an impression,” says Carl. “He is well loved by every kid who played football in this Valley.” “Jeff was a natural coach,” he continues. “He had that little something extra.” Rio denies it is a trait inherited from father to son, but those who know both describe them in like terms – a key element to Pirate football, motivational, an asset to the community.
And then there is Mary Ellen, still serving as Solvang City clerk and cheering on the sidelines on fall Friday nights.
“It’s such a good feeling to do something for somebody else,” says Carl, noting that working with young people helps to fill the void that is left after the loss of a child. And then there are the people who stop the Rios in passing to share a favorite memory of Jeff.
“It’s amazing how after so many years, people still remember,” Carl says.
McClurg remembers well. He can tell you exactly where he was when he heard the news. He was on Jeff’s first varsity football team at Santa Ynez, and his kid brother on Jeff’s last.
McClurg now has the job he always thought Jeff would take – trying to fill the shoes of Ken Gruendyke. “Jeff is why I decided to become a teacher and a coach,” says McClurg. “He is a very inspirational guy.”
Not allowing a slip in his trademark smile, Rio notes that his son’s death was out of order, but there is nothing distressing about his memory or how Jeff lived his life, which is why his ambitions resonate so soundly still. “Jeff was a very special young man.” In his senior year, he was voted “Most Inspirational” by his peers. “He was the eternal optimist.”
“He was young enough to speak the language,” says McClurg of the fact Jeff was no more than a few years older than any of the kids he was coaching. His first coaching gig was at College School when still a student at Santa Ynez.
Rio laughs as he retells the story of one of Jeff’s first encounters coaching. He was asked if he would coach the College School baseball team – having already proved himself as a coach for both the girls’ and boys’ junior high basketball teams.
Jeff didn’t play baseball; he didn’t like it well enough to switch away from the other sports he was engaged in. But like his father before him, Jeff found it hard to turn down a request to help kids. With his dad’s encouragement, Jeff agreed to give it a try. “He was just that type of person,” says Carl.
Jeff rounded up some of his friends who played baseball to help, and off they went. Jeff was young, but very responsible, so everyone was comfortable with his coaching despite Jeff’s tender years, says Rio. And when the team won the championships, no one was too surprised.
With the legendary basketball coach Pat Riley for a role model, Jeff always wore a shirt and tie when coaching. “He was strict and very intense, the perfect football coach,” says McClurg.
“To this day, the kids still talk about him,” says Carl. “He treated everyone the same. It didn’t matter how good or bad you were, everyone got a chance to play.”
In the end, says Carl, what people should take to heart is not the loss of the man, but the celebration of his accomplishments. “Some people don’t accomplish anything of long-term value in a lifetime. Jeff did so much in his 23 years.”
And those accomplishments – Jeff’s legacy – live on in the mother and father who still demonstrate the lesson the son lived so well.